Can't hide it anymore (Vavan)
by Just-DoWhatYouLove
Summary: Vavan (Victoria Justice Avan Jogia). 'When I met you I never thought I would fall in love with you. Life has changed ever since, though I can't express my love , because I fear one day will come and I will lose you forever so I better be your friend and still love you..'
1. Prologue

Avan's Pov

_Full name? Avan Tudor Jogia. Age? Sixteen. Gender? Male. Hair? Black, curls, middle long. Eyes? Dark brown. Experi_- My thoughs got cut off by my mom yelling my name. ''Avan! Dinner's ready!'' ''Coming!'' I yelled back.

I quickly shove the registration forms into the letter tray and ran down the stairs. When I came into the kitchen I smelled something good. ''smells nice mom!'' I complimented her. ''Thanks hun... Uhm, your dad said he will eat at work tonight.'' Yeah, of course he'll eat at work tonight. And tomorrow night. And the night after that. But that fact is that he isn't eating, he's just getting drunk and doing god knows what!

I took only two plates out of the cupboard and put them on the table. ''Again.'' I said but, my mom just ignored it. I started eating since I knew that she just wanted me to act normal when he wasn't home again. I didn't believe that she still loved him, mabye it began all before. I don't know but, something had to be the cause of this all. Mabye it was me but, my Mom wouldn't answer. He was barely home, I had luck if I saw him twice a month, so that wasn't a option. If I was her, I had kicked him out house months ago, when he started 'eating at work'.

I finished dinner and waited for my mom to finish while I washed my dish. When she was finished, she just sat there, liffelessly. I took her dish too and washed it. ''mom,'' I started but, she didn't react. She wasn't in the mood for talking or anything else execpt breathing. Thank god, she was still in the mood for breathing! This happened once a week or so. ''Mom. C'mon not again. Look I'm sorry I said that. I'm just so... frustrated.'' No respond. Great, another evening without company.

I went back to my room and continued filling in the registration forms. _Experience? Yes, Gym Teacher: The movie (September 12, 2008, Nickelodeon Orginal Movie)._ That was the first movie I was starring after quiting highschool. I loved playing Champ, I don't know why mabye it was the fact that I was first starting my career.

Now a movie directed by the same directors was coming out! The movie came out very well, there were great actors in it, I didn't became good friends with then though. Most actresses and actors were really despised the people who didn't play lead roles. I didn't have a lot of friends. And the friends that I had where in highschool.

_I had a few roles in other movies and in one Tv show_. I added to my answer. _Why do you think you'll fit this role so well?_Oh, that was a hard one but, of course it wasn't the first time I had to answer this question and had I thought about how to answer this question in hundred ways like thousand times. I really wanted this role.

I wasn't a big part but, it had a few funny lines and I had to dance and sometimes sing in it to. I loved acting more though. But I fellt like I wasn't ready for a lead role yet. It fellt like someting was missing, like I was waiting for the right moment to jump and then jumped higher then I would have done earlier.

I looked at my clock. 8.43 pm, it said. I had time enough to fill it in and I was not concentrated anymore. So I shove it into the letter tray again and dicided to mess what around on the internet, check some upcomming movies, check my mailbox and you know other stuff...

While my laptop was turning on. I tidied my room a little. Then I heard someone move downstairs, was dad home? Mabye my mom had come out of her trance. Mabye she didn't. If she didn't I had to make sure my dad won't do anything to her. Sometimes he came home drunk or with another girl. Often there was I fight between them then. Sometimes he slapped her. I had to make sure everything was okay. So I decided to check on my mom.

Downstairs I found an intresting situation. My mother wasn't in the state of lifelessness anymore. Instead she was sitting on the couch spitting through a pile of pictures with my dad on it. I stood there for awhile, just looking at her. ''Avan.'' She suddenly said. I thought she didn't know I was here, I tried to not make noice. ''Yes mom. What are you doing?'' I aksed as I walked towards her. ''Just make a fire in the fireplace, please.''

I slowly realized what she was going to do. I stared at here in disbelieve. ''It's over, Av. I'm sorry that you had to wait so long.'' She looked very... relieved. I did not understand where this sudden sense came from but, I was glad that she finally was gonna confront him. I sat next to her and gave her a hug. ''It's okay mom'' I wispered in her ear. ''I'm gonna kick him out, tell him to never come back. If that's okay with you?''

I sat there in silence for awhile. Thinking if I should stop her. Then I realized that I didn't love this man that used to be my dad anymore. How could he hurt my mother like that? How could he just forget about his family? How hard could it be to just be there for us? He changed. He was a cheating adicted man. He had a lot of problems. Not just with us but, with himself too. And of course with all the girls he was cheating with on my mom. I was ready to make him leave, to say goodbye. And I couldn't wait to have him no longer in my life. And I knew that this time it really was over...


	2. Chapter 1 The beginning

Avan's mothers POV

''Again.'' My son said after I told him that his dad would eat at work tonight. I just ignored it. He was right, though. It wasn't the first time my husband ate at work. Avan hadn't any trust in his father anymore. I did. Mabye it was just a busy period at his work. Mabye he had just planned something sure,there was ahuge chance that he had an affair with one of his colleagues everytime he called my and told me that he still had some stuff to do. But I trusted him, not as much as I did before of course but, I had still some trust in him.

Avan started dinner but, I knew he only did because, he thought that that was what I expected him to do. Otherwise he had started a conversation about it. Avan wasn't dumb. Of course he had figured that his dad was unfaithful. Avan. My son. I didn't wanted to involvehim in this but, he was the only thing that I had left. Avan was the only person, that when I looked at them, I didn't feel pain. I was proud. I was so proud of Avan. And I couldn't lose him because of this all.

Not because his dad lost him. Not because his dad was such a asshole that he had dicided I wasn't good enough for him. Because I can say that I was to good for him, trusting him till the bitter end. I had already finished dinner but, I needed some time allone to dicide how I couldn't lose Avan.I couldn't ask him to just go to his room, that would be strange. I never did that.

''Mom,'' I heard something far away. But I didn't want anyone to interrupt this moment so I just ignored it. I wasn't in the mood of talking. I was to far away to realize that it was Avan.

I first had to find out how I could be alone for a moment. To make a plan. A plan how I could stop this all. How I could stop Avan slipping through my fingers.

The voice said something again but, the only thing I could pick out of it, was the word 'frustrated'. Frustrated... frustrated... frustrated... I kept repeating the word in my head. Thinking about where this began. Why was my married man cheating on me and leaving his child behind? What was the cause of this all?

I didn't know. The only one who could explain precisely why, was never homeif there was anylight. But I knew thatsoon enough would he explain everything. It didn't bother me if I had to stay up all night waiting till all the lights are off and he came home. I would be as ready as I could be to fight, for my son, for myself, and for everyone whom myhusband had hurt. And the fighting would be worth it.

All of sudden I snaped out of it, and the door slammed closed. Avan had gone upstairs. I knew this wasthe best opportunity I was going to get. I had to make my plan really quick, I hadn't much time. I panicked, the 'what if's' filled my head. I stood up andwalked to the cupboard. I stared at it, it had always beenmy favorite piece of furniture. I felt myself calm down. I remembered so many good times when I looked at it. And there the picture of red headed me and the newborn Avan. Avan still with his eyes closed. We looked so peaceful, our lives just as easy as it was right then.

I picked the photoframes up and took the photo out.

At the rear stood óne sentence: 'Love the people that make you happy, if you make them happy too, they will love you.'

I wrote it when we went home. Avan and I in the backseat, my husband was driving. I was to exhausted to drive. I was looking at the pictures from at year ago untill now. I came by the latest photo taken. It was the one right after Avan's birth. I was three days ago, it had seemed weeks.

A hole new life was started, a life with responsibilities. I wanted to be a good mother. I wanted to give my little boy an advice that he could keep forever, even if he was older. I was thinking about it while I saw my husband looking through the rearview mirror.

'Something about love.' I thought. And I wrote it down.

I took all the photoframes in the room, took all pictures out and made a pile of them. I accidentally thrusted against a photoframe, it felt. I gathered it up, the glass was broken. I stood up walked towards the kitchen and tossed it in the trash.

I turned back to the pile in the living room. I picked the upper photo up and looked at it.

It was made at the wedding, the moment of the kiss. I looked happy. Right then I believed in his vows, but now I even doubt if he meant it. Of course the first years of our marriage we were happy andsuccessfulbut, after that daze, all the excitement was gone. Our relationship became akward. So akward that we didn't really felt comfortable around each other. Our Love was gone.

Close to tears, I continued with looking though the pile.

Next picture, bye picture. I didn't even look at it, as soon as I saw _him _standing on it.

Next picture, bye picture. One tear was rolling down my cheek.

Next picture, this was a good one, it was one of Avan and his brother, Ketan. It was taken at a beach at brazil. We went there last year, without their dad of course. It was one of the hapiest times I ever had after the 'daze'. A little smile appeared on my face.

I heard someone walk in, probably Avan. I just approved the next image and continued with what I was doing.

The picures had to be ruined, there had to be nothing left. Only memories left that couldn't be erased from my mind. He was going to be gone, he would only exist in my mind after this night. That one night could make such a diffence. I've no idea what time he would be arrived home, but I would be up. Even though I knew that this man did everything to prevent a converstation between us. I was going to stay awake all night if that was necessary.

I called for Avan, he had to be aware of this. I owed him that. He had to understand that this couldn't last for any longer. I had to knew that Avan was done with him too.

''Yes mom. What you doing?'' He replied. I'm ruining pictures of your dad, Avan. I thought, but instead I said:''Just make a fire in the fireplace, please.'' One hint had to be enough for him to understand what I was doing. I was ashamed. What if he disdained what I was doing.

I looked up at him, and saw that he stared at me in disbelieve. Just disbelieve, no contempt. He just couldn't believe that I was finally being smart. I only had to convince him that I really was.

''It's over, Av. I'm sorry you had to wait so long.'' And then he did the most unexpected thing I expected. He sat down next to me and embraced me. Then he came really close and wispered in my ear.''It's okay mom''. My eyes watered. His support meant a lot to me.

I sniffed. ''I'm gonna kick him out, tell him to never come back. If that's okay with you?'' I made him that promise before I even thought about it. It's over now. He was going to stand up for his dad or he was going to be at my side. Poor boy, he didn't have a choice he had to make his choice. Does he agree that his dad wasn't getting an other chance. That it had already taken so long, that it was now or never.

He was still thinking 'bout what I had said. I had no idea were his opinion was going. What were the thoughts the were left about his dad? Was he already done with him or was I to rash? Was I being reckless? No, I was making a smart decision.

He didn't say anything anymore, he just stood up and walked towards the fireplace. He wiped the ash from the last time we used it away. And walked outside to get some wood to burn. I continued with the sorting of the pictures. But this time I wasn't there with my mind.

Avan came back with a couple off woodenblocks and a blank expression. He put the blocks down and sat down on the carpet facing me, I was still sitting on the couch, he finally said something... ''Let's do this mom. Let's clean our damage.'' And his expression lightened a little.


	3. Chapter 2Decisions

Avan's POV

I walked outside to get my mom some logs. It gave me time to think about what to do next.

I made my decision. Actually, I realized back then, I already had made my dicision a long time ago. That summer night in Brazil.

We were just back from the beach, exhausted because of the swimming in the ocean all day long. Ketan had asked about him, curious as he was, he didn't expect anything was wrong, I told him the truth. Every detail, from the start untill the end. How mom reacted, how I felt and most of al, how _he_ distroyed the happiness there had been.

After I finished the story, I could see Ketan tried to control himself, I could tell he was pretty furious that I didn't told him earlier.

''You should have told me.'' He indeed exclaimed. ''And then? Then what. Neither of us could prevent this! Only mom could, by finding out earlier.'' Ketan might not live with us anymore but, he still really cared about our familly.

''Don't blame this on mom, Avan! You know it's not her fault!'' Ketan raised his voice, he defended her. ''I do not! No, of course it's not but, she isn't totally innocent too!'' And with that I walked away, I didn't want to be in this shit anymore. That's why I agreed comming here, so I could figure some things out.

Ketan had no idea what was going on at home, it just wasn't how it used to be anymore, it seemed like everyone had changed. Like I didn't know anybody anymore, I'd lose everyone close to me. But it was not my fault, it was _his..._

Oh, and damn I was so mad at him! But I couldn't help it, he was my father. I kept repeating the things he said when he heard that we were going to Brazil without him. Kept repeating the times it looked like he really cared, when it looked like his facial expressions seemed to scream; ''I love you, please don't go! I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you!'' The moments he was sober. Then you could see the man I'd loved to call my father. But mostly that man wasn't there. Only the man who didn't care, who didn't love and the man who was drunk all the time.

Acoholic, man I hated that word. The combination of addicted and acohol. Addicted to acohol. And I'd promise myself back I would never be one of them, that I would never be so drunk that I was going to do stupid things. Because stupid things, could ruin someone else's life. And I wasn't that egoistic.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks now. I was so done with this. So sick of everything that caused pain. So tired of denying that I wasn't okay with this. I didn't want to think about it now. But wasn't that exactly what I came here for?

I needed to face this shit. Fight it and clean it. But I couldn't do that on my own. So I guessed I just had to wait untill my mom had cleared up her mind. I did have to wait 'till she couldn't diny anymore. But for now I had to let it go.

I sat down on the sidewalk. Letting go was hard, and in this case it would be the reason of a lot of more pain. Not only for my but, for people who just were affected too. People like Ketan.

I stood up, the street was cold. I shivered. I decided to go to the next beach house I saw, and stepped trough the door, into the warm atmosphere. It was a nice old place, you could see that the possessor did a good job on this one. The ambience was peacefull, you wouldn't be disturbed if you just wanted to sit down by your own and your secrets would be safe.

At least that was what I thought.

There were a lot of old people in here and one young girl who I suspected to be the daughter of the owners, She looked like eight years old. When she saw me sitting down, her eyes widened and he mouth dropped a little.

Oh great, a ten years old fan-girling girl. I could really use that right now. She ran away and came back with her mother again. She looked at me and nodded towards her girl while saying somehing I couldn't hear. The girl looked at her mother in disbelief and quickly ran away again. The woman walked towards me.

''Good evening, youngman.'' She said politely. I felt there was a question comming.

''Good evening, madam.'' I responded. I just did like I didn't expect anything.

''Can I ask you something?'' She asked. She was acting a little nervous. I was sure it was about the little girl.

''Of course. What can I help you with?'' After she did realize I was a good guy, she looked relieved.

''I have a daughter, you see. And-'' She began but, I didn't let her finish. I really wasn't into squealing girls right now.

''I'm sorry, not today. I just came here to think.'' I decided to tell her the truth. Truth didn't hurt, right?

''Oh... Well... That's alright.'' She said disapointed.

The little girl came back with her father. A big grin on her face. She looked really excited. Her dad tried to hide it but, it was obvious he was quite excited too. He toke a piece of paper and a pencil and kneeled down. I looked like he was giving her a pep talk. Pep talk for what?

The female look at me skeptical. She saw my looking at the two from her familly. ''Please, she just needs to take your order, she's just so jealous of her older brother. We promised her that she could take the orders of the young people since they usually don't come here. It will just take one minute more, it will make her so happy. Please.''

I chuckled, this wasn't about autographs. This was about doing a favor, being a nice person, it was so easy. I could make this perfect family shine. I knew my luck wasn't the best but, theirs was better and I wouldn't ruin that.

''No problem, I'm sorry about earlier. I'm not having my day today.'' And for the second time today I made her feel reliefed. And it felt good to help them.

The young girl took my order, as formal as possible for an eight years old, and went to the kitchen to get my coke. It lasted a few minutes longer than it would when an aldult had token it but, I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon anyway.

She came back with a tray with perfectly in the middle my coke and a glass next to it. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She put the tray down on the table I was sitting at. And put her hand behind her back.

''Hello mister, here is your order.'' She said with the cutiest voice ever. She was really shy but, had just enough courage to stand here by her own. She took the coke and put it down on the table leaf. She did the same with the glass.

''Thank you, madam.'' I said like she was an aldult. Her head shot up and the brightest grin I'd ever seen appeared on her face. It really made her happy that she could do this.

A youngman at my age walked in. And the girls smiled faded when she realized who I was looking at. Weth from the rain he kissed his mothers cheek. And a suprized expresion appeared on his face when he saw me sitting with his little sister.

''He's my brother.'' Said the girl and she pouted. She looked so sad that I had to fight the urge to comfort her.

''Why so sad. girl?'' I asked her, showing my real intrest.

''He's always taking my spot. He always does something better and bigger than me.'' She answered.

I felt very pity for the little girl. ''Of course not! You have your own qualities, your own things your good at. I think he doesn't know you feel that way. Talk to him about it, okay?''

The girl, who still looked really sad, gave in. ''Okay.'' She just said.

''Promise?'' I asked, I needed to make sure their relation wouldn't be ruin because of this tiny misunderstanding.

''Yes, I promise.'' She said, and looked me straight in the eye. No doubt.

I ruffled her hair and took the next step. ''Now, go say 'hi' to you brother while I drink the coke you brought me.''

She smilled. ''Thank you, sir.'' I saw in her eyes that she wanted to hug me but, instead she just maturely handed me her hand. I took it but gave the petite girl a little hug too.

With the smile still on her face she ran off to her brother and parents. He brother picked her up and gave her a bear hug witch she happily returned. Their parents interwined their hands and looked lovingly at each other.

''The perfect familly.'' I wispered to myself and I was sure they had fought so hard for it. And they deserved it. Everyone deserved such a hapiness, so I decided that I would wait untill the moment had come for me. And I knew I could wait forever because, I wanted to feel like them someday. Happy and carefree.

I stood up and left the money on the table. I walked to the door, I leaned against the door post so I could watch the familly for one more moment.

The young girl, still in her brothers arms, wispered something that I could barely hear but, the important look in her eyes told my that it was about she felt. Her brother looked shocked for a moment but then wispered something back and kissed her forehead. Perfect. She yawned and laid against his chest.

There appeared a questioning expression on his face and asked her something, what I again couldn't hear.

She yawned againn and said something that exposed his question immediately:

''I promised the young man.''

The guy searched for me with his eyes while he waited for her to fall asleep. I didn't know him but I could tell he was good hearted.

He turned around and finally found my eyes. First his stood desperately but after he realized I didn't look away, his eyes turned grateful.

''Thank you'' He mouthed. And the little girls eyelids closed. I nodded in return. And with that I turned around and walked out the door.

Feeling peaceful decision were finally made, I walked into the cold atmosphere, back to the world full with problems and pain.


	4. Chapter 3 Coming home

Avan's POV

I grabbed some logs and walked back inside. I found my mom spitting through the pictures again. The pictures with good memories, peaceful memories, and the ones with bad memories. Her expression was cold as ice but in some way she looked desperate and anxious too. A picture of me and my dad came along, smiling, being happy. Her face became even more dreary.

I put the logs down in front of the fireplace. Giving them a chance to dry before the fire would touch them. I looked at my mom again, she was still busy with the pictures. I understood that burning them would bring an huge relief with it but I was afraid that she would get going because of the kick and do something to herself. She probably wouldn't but I could not be sure about it.

I cross-legged down on the carpet. In such a way that could see the door and watch her at the same time. I looked at the pictures that came along. The good and the bad once and surprisingly I didn't care anymore. I didn't care who was on the picture, when the picture was taken or what kind of memory it brought with it. I just didn't care because it didn't affect my decision anymore.

My mom peeked at me but quickly returned to the pictures when she saw I was looking at her. She looked afraid of my opinion, of what I was thinking. I decided to clear her mind up a little.

''Let's do this mom. Let's clean our damage.'' I said. And finally I felt happy in some kind of way. It wasn't half of the happiness deserved but it was a step closer to what I was searching for. So I smiled, I smiled for the first time in years a honest smile. And it felt so good, to be myself for a moment.

I stood up and picked the pictures up. Still in a good mood, I walked over to the kitchen. I searched for a lighter. I found it in the kitchen cabinet above the sink. I rushed over to the fireplace, pictures in my left hand, lighter in my right.

I chose three logs and made a nest of them. I put the pictures in the hole under it. Ready to burn. I hesitated, was this really what she wanted? To throw away twenty years of her life? And what was she gonna do after this?

''Mom, are you sure?'' I asked her, my eyes still focused on the almost fire. Was she really okay with it? I heard her stand up and walk over to me. After a few seconds she stooped and I felt a hand resting on my higher back.

''Avan, listen. Like you said, let's do this.'' She said, fully convinced of herself.

''But mom. What if we're rushing things over? What are we gonna do after this?'' I took it all of my chest and looked up.

In her eyes I saw nothing but excitement. Slowly a grin appeared on her face.

''We are not rushing things over, I prepared for this for two years long Avan. I know what I'm doing. Please. Just trust your mother on this one.'' She said while she put her hand over mine, the one that held the lighter.

As reply I brought the lighter closer to the photo's. No doubt this time, we both were sure so there was no need to be insecure. No need to hurry.

A little flame appeared when I lighted the lighter. I brought our hands closer to the photo's. The little flame touched a upper photo for a moment and it immediately attached to it. The photo's slowly burned down and kindled the wooden blocks.

We just sat there, waiting for the photo's to be destroyed. I became darker and darker outside and soon the fireplace was our only light source. It felt nice, sitting next to my mom, the feeling the heat of the fire on my skin. I felt warm inside and outside.

When the first log had fully turned into ashes stood I up and walked to the place where I put the logs. I put it in the fireplace, trying carefully not to hurt myself.

''Do you want something to drink?'' I said. Even though it was a really comfortable silence we were in, I knew that we couldn't sit there the entire evening.

''Yes, that would be nice. Can you make me some tea?'' She replied. My mother always drank tea in the evening, she said she could sleep better if she did.

''Sure.'' I simply replied. I walked over to the kitchen, filled the kettle with water and turned it on. I leaned against the counter waiting for the water to warm up.

I took a mug out of the kitchen cabinet and chose a tea-bag for her. Once the water was warm I filled the mug with steaming water and immersed the tea-bag in it.

I walked back to the living room and put the mug down on the coffee table.

''Avan, he's coming home tonight. I just feel it.'' She told me. She wanted to tell him as soon as he would walk in.

''I know mom. Just tell him when he's home. I'll wait with you for him.'' I said. I wasn't planning on being there when the hell broke down but comforting my mom until my father came home was the least I could do for her.

We smiled at each other. Knowing that soon the habit would be broken. Things would change. Things would get better.

''I'm afraid, Avan.'' My mother said. Her knees against her chest and her hands firmly wrapped around the mug.

Of course she was afraid. Her husband had hit her and not just once. He was drunk of course, he didn't mean it. But it still hurt her trust in him.

''Mom, you'll be fine. I promise.'' I convinced her. She seemed to relax again.

There we were waiting for him to come home. Time went slowly but just fast enough to know that there wasn't much time to spill. The sky went from grey to black and then slowly began to turn grey again. The fire had extinguished and a lot of tea had been drunk. We almost gave up hope that he would come home anytime soon. When we heard a car pull up to our drive way.

We waited in silence for the door to be unlocked. I squeezed my eyes closed and couldn't help but bit my bottom lip. I heard a click and a ray of light felt into the living room. I took a deep breath and held it until the next thing would happen.

The lights in the living room turned on and I heard his voice. I had almost forgotten how it sounded.

''Oh you're awake. Why? Isn't it like tree in the morning?'' His deep voice sounded like he was sober. His voice sounded like mine.

'You and i need to talk about something important.'' My mother said, her voice full of certainty.

''Oh. Let's talk then.'' My father replied. Not entirely knowing what this was about.

They sat down on the couch and walked upstairs, giving them their privacy. I continued filling the forms for the audition in because I had nothing else to do. I wasn't concentrating, I was waiting for something. And it didn't last long before it happened.

First it was only my mother screaming, soon after that my dad began yelling too. I couldn't and did not want to understand what they were saying. I just waited for it to be over.

After a while I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. My father. For a moment I thought that he was coming to my room but I heard him slamming the door to the room of my parents.

I waited again. Was he packing his stuff? Was he leaving?

The next thing I heard were the footsteps again. This time he opened my door. He didn't slam it or anything so I knew he had cooled down a little. I watched him standing in my doorway. Looking him in the eye I saw he was sober. He was sober. Sober. He was human.

''Avan.'' My dad said hesitating. ''Can I come in for a moment?''

His eyes stood true-hearted. Fair. Loyal.

I just nodded in approval. I knew he didn't expect me to say anything so I shut my mouth and just listened.

''I just want you to listen, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.'' He looked at me. I didn't say anything.

''I know what I've done. And I know that this can't last any longer. Your mother asked me to leave so that's what I'm doing. I just want you to know that I'm sober this time and that I really mean this. Avan, I might have not always showed it but I was always sorry when I opened my eyes after drinking to much. Sorry for hurting you and for not doing anything about it. It's time for me to get help.

Avan you're a wonderful person. And I'm so proud of you. If you want something you always make sure you reach it. Something I've never been able of.

I love you and I always will, my son.''

I was on the edge, the edge of crying. This was it. The end. This would have been so much easier if he was just in his usual state.

He walked over and gingerly, trying to see if I was okay with it, put his arms around me. This caused me to break down and quickly react. My arms shot up and tears were spilling.

"I-I. I love you too dad.'' I whispered softly,

''Goodbye my son. Promise me to take good care of your mother.'' My father said. His voice sounded neutral but I could feel the tears rolling down his cheek.

''I promise.'' I answered.I was sure mom was going to break down to night. I'll be there for her.

I let go of me and took his suitcase. He smiled and didn't even bother to wipe away the tears. I walked down the stairs with him. We sneaked behind my mothers back to the backdoor. I sniffed.

''Goodbye my son.'' My father once again said. And with that he disappeared.

Goodbye my father. I love you. I'll remind you.

I turned around, ready to face my mother. I had no idea in what kind of condition she was. But I had made a promise.

I walked into the living room. No presence of my mother. But when I turned to the fireplace I saw something. A photo. A photo of a happy family. I picked it up and ran upstairs. The last picture that was left of my dad.

I put it under my pillow and walked to my mom's room. There she laid on the two person's bed all by her own. It was just sad. I climbed on the bed and held her. She was crying but I knew that was a part of the divorce she would go through. I made myself comfortable because I knew she wouldn't be done anytime soon. I was right.

She cried and cried, until everything was out and she felt asleep.


End file.
